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Doubting my own existence
You know, i feel so invisible sometimes i even wonder if i actually exist.
I mean... i feel invisible. SERIOUSLY. And not only because M.G forgets i exist... Been sms-ing some pple these few days since promos ended. And i din get replies. Not late replies. Just NO replies. To sms that needs replies. It's as if i never sent them.[But i confirm did. I checked.] And these pple are actually my close frenz. Finally got an sms reply from HuiMin the other day and was super happy cuz i tot, good, the replies are coming in le! Yeah rite. That was the end of it. I din dare sms my frenz again to ask for their replies cuz if they still don't reply that sms, i will know i don't exist. sighz. I feel like i am... non-existent. Aiyah. I dunno how to explain. Anywayz, couldn stand all that invisibility, so i headed to sch this morning 9am for PW. But i woke up with a fever, like on sunday. So i had to be late for 1/2 hour while trying to get rid of the fever. Still feeling terribly unstable, i dragged myself to sch. Met Yuan Ping at the 38 bus stand and talked a little. But weirdly, i din feel like talking. We just sat there all the way to sch. And complained a bit abt PW and all that. I got to the hub to find it completely full cuz everyone's doing PW. Saw Yvonne, my grp leader, and that's it. I mean, there no one else from my grp there! And i tot i was late. In the end, none of them came. It was just me and Yvonne. Great meeting. Later have to go back for B.O.D meeting. hmm... i did my designs, i hope they're ok. Feel very 《女生宿舍》by S.H.E today. Haha.. kept being reminded of that album. The songs tells a story when put in order, like a novel. Like from 《恋人未满》to 《H.B.O》(falling in love) to finding out that the guy was two-timing her in 《他就是他》, to 《别》when they split up，to《冰箱》where she tries to forget the whole thing to 《你还好不好》where her friends try to give her advice on it. Then came 《替我爱你》where she gives up the guy finally, and then 《忘记把你忘记》where she forgets to forget the whole thing. haha. it was pretty interesting the first time i bought it. Then today was listening to 《他就是他》, a song that never fails to crack me up esp when the girl finds out the guy she's dating is also the guy her fren is dating. And she goes "我的天！有没有搞错！他就是他，原来是同一个。。。" and before that she and her fren were both discussing how great their boyfriends were. hahahaha... Never listen to it for a LOOOOng time le, and this time when i listened to it, my laughter was mixed with some amusement. Amusement that however hilarious it sounds, its can actually happen. If only everyone can laugh it off everytime. But after all these time... maybe it isn easy. It's really difficult to shrug things off. Esp feelings. geez. i am so NOT MYSELF today. lately. i'm weird. don bother abt me. AND REPLY ME PPLE!!! Joyce at 1:00 PM
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